Tea Service: In Praise of Allalae, God of Small Comforts

“Tea service wasn’t anything arcane. People came to the wagon with their problems and left with a fresh-brewed cup. Dex had taken respite in tea parlors plenty of times, as everyone did, and they’d read plenty of books about the particulars of the practice. Endless electronic ink had been spilled over the old tradition, but all of it could be boiled down to listen to people, give tea. Uncomplicated as could be.”

— Becky Chambers, A Psalm for the Wild-Built

When it comes to spirituality, different things connect with different people. I’ve always joked that books are my religion, and its not far from the truth. In January 2023, however, I finally found a deity that spoke to me in a way that no other ever had before: Allalae.

Fittingly, Allalae is a fictional god from the pantheon created by Becky Chambers for her Monk & Robot series: the God of Small Comforts. Devotees of Allalae focus themselves on creating spaces of comfort for support and growth, their temples providing the small comforts that give us strength when we need it most; full of blankets, and books, and twinkly lights, and tea.

The lead character of the series is a Tea Monk of Allalae, whose work involves travelling around between towns and villages, setting up in a public space, and serving tea and holding space for any and all who need it. A listening ear, or a cup of tea in silence if that’s what’s needed, in a makeshift haven of small comforts.

This resonated with me profoundly.  As an autistic person, I have struggled greatly in my life with not knowing how to provide comfort to people in a way that is often expected in neurotypical society, but this I had found myself doing throughout my life, naturally: holding space. I have been told that I make people feel safe. As I sat on the sofa reading this, I looked around me at my living room, my blanket, my tea, and could have been sitting in a temple to Allalae. This was it. This is my calling.

Throughout volunteering and working in maternity spaces, this was a valuable skill which I used regularly. For the first time in my life, I had an asset that was being praised just as much as my academic ability. Holding a supportive space for women felt right.

As a doula, this is of course a core focus of my work, but reading this imagined wonder from one of my favourite authors brought it into new clarity.

Tea Service is for anyone who needs some small comforts. With your choice of tea in your favourite mug, sit and be held. Talk about what’s on your mind, or sit with me in companionable silence while we sip our tea. Cry, or don’t. Laugh, or don’t. This is your space, your time, to recharge and rejuvenate, regaining your emotional strength.